Desi Edition: Things They Should Teach About Sex (But Don’t)

SexVexVichaar

Aug 14

If you survived the Indian education system, congratulations.
You can probably explain osmosis in your sleep.
But when it comes to basic sex education?
We were all left wildly unprepared, clutching Google searches and questionable advice from older cousins.

Because in most desi households, sex is treated like Voldemort:
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

It’s time to unlearn the silence and start talking real.
Here’s what they should have taught us, but didn't:

1. Consent Isn’t Complicated — It’s the Bare Minimum

Consent isn’t "implied." It isn’t "assumed."
It’s an enthusiastic, "hell yes" — not silence, not pressure, not guilt trips.
And here’s the kicker: you can withdraw consent at any time. Even mid-kiss. Even mid-anything.

What they should’ve said:
“You’re not convincing someone. You’re co-creating a good experience.”

2. Virginity Is a Social Myth (Not a Medical Condition)

Desi obsession with "losing virginity" could power an entire film industry.
(Honestly, it already has.)

The truth?
Virginity is a social idea — not a biological event.
There’s no "proof."
No magical "pop" or "first-time blood" requirement.
Just a lot of unnecessary shame tied to a concept nobody can even define properly.

What they should’ve said:
"Your worth isn’t hanging on a hymen."

3. Safe Sex = Self-Respect

Condoms, dental dams, lube — none of these are dirty words.
They're smart moves. They're responsible moves.
And they exist to protect everyone involved — physically and emotionally.

Still waiting for the day when a Bollywood hero whips out protection instead of a slow-mo love ballad under fake rain.

What they should’ve said:
"Protection = confidence. Protection = care. Protection = hot."

4. Pain During Sex Isn’t "Normal" — It’s a Red Flag

First time awkwardness? Totally normal.
But chronic pain during sex? That’s a problem.
Not something you "sacrifice through."
Not something you endure for "true love."

Sex should feel good — emotionally, physically, and mentally.
If it doesn’t, stop. Talk. Reassess. Seek help if needed.

What they should’ve said:
"Pleasure is the baseline, not a bonus feature."

5. Queer Sex Exists (And Deserves Respect)

Sex-ed in India usually operates on one assumption:
Hetero boys + hetero girls = The End.

But real life?
Way more diverse.
Queer bodies, queer love, queer pleasure — all valid. All deserving of real, informed conversations.

What they should’ve said:
"Everyone deserves to feel safe, seen, and celebrated — no matter who they love."

6. Talking About Sex Doesn't Ruin Sanskaar

Parents think if they talk about sex, kids will immediately turn into wild party animals.
Plot twist:
Talking about sex usually makes people more thoughtful about it, not less.

Silence breeds ignorance.
Conversations breed responsibility.

What they should’ve said:
"You can be sanskaari AND sexually educated. Shocking, we know."